Have you ever wondered what might happen if the characters from Sesame Street actually grew up and moved away? Chances are, they would escape to Avenue Q, the block where humans mix with puppets and monsters. But instead of singing about numbers and letters, the residents here sing about Internet porn and how everyone’s a little bit racist.
Of course, Avenue Q isn’t a real place. It’s a Tony-award winning musical and it opens this month in Toronto at the Lower Ossington Theatre. We caught up with one of the avenue’s favourite tenants, Lucy the Slut, to talk about life on the Q.
So how do you like living on Avenue Q?
Suits me well enough. It’s a bit of a dive. What’s a nice girl like me doing living here? But then again, I’m not a nice girl.
Who are your closest friends on the block?
Friends are an unusual choice of words. I’m reasonably close to Princeton; I like to give him advice from time to time. I think Trekkie Monster and I have a lot in common — we both have an appreciation for pleasures of the flesh — but he’s a monster , so I can’t get too close.
Who do you think is the most attractive person on Avenue Q?
Princeton. He’s something. Quite a looker. Nice kid.
Have you dated any of your neighbours?
A lady never tells. But, yes. I had a little bit of a fling with Princeton. He’s a new guy. You do the new guy. You know how it goes.
You’re a cabaret singer at the local bar, Around the Clock Cafe. Do you think you’ll ever get tired of the bar scene?
I very much doubt it. It’s exciting, it’s glamorous, you get free drinks. It’s good.
What’s your favourite song to sing at the bar?
Well, my signature piece is “Special.” But I’m also a fan of Eartha Kitt. I like her song “I Want to Be Evil” – it’s subtle.
You’re known as Lucy the Slut. Do you find that offensive at all?
Not at all. I think our society needs to get over our culture of slut shaming.
What do you think of the SlutWalks that have taken the world by storm?
All for it. All for it.
So your signature song is “Special.” So, what makes you so special when it comes to the boudoir?
I’d like to think I ‘m a giving lover. I give all kinds of things. (wink) I also have a great rack. That helps.
What was the longest relationship you’ve been in?
Give or take, a couple days. Didn’t get out much for those couple of days, but, man, what a couple of days.
Are you dating anyone right now?
Not as such. I’m exploring my options.
What’s your idea of a perfect date?
We go walking by the seaside, have a nice seafood dinner – I’m a big fan of the sea – and then we go back home and screw like rabbits for five hours.
What’s your “magic number?”
(Counts for a while…) Frankly, I’ve lost count. Less than two hundred.
So who’s the better lover: puppets, humans or monsters?
I dated a monster once. I got sick of picking the fur out of my teeth. But puppets definitely [are better]; they’ve got more flexibility, and I’m not referring to the time.
What do you do for fun?
I like playing tennis, I like swimming and roller derby.
Do you think you’ll ever settle down?
Define settle down. I might be open to a flexible marriage, but kids? Yuck. No thanks.
Will you ever leave Avenue Q?
If the right guy comes along. Someone with a ton of money, who’ll whisk me away to a Caribbean island, then, yeah, maybe.
Avenue Q, Lower Ossington Theatre, 100A Ossington Ave., 416-915-6747. Jan. 18 – Feb. 4.
