It’s me, bitches: 11 ways that Rob Ford could have better dealt with emergency dispatchers

So it’s looking like Rob Ford is probably wishing he had put his foot in his mouth. Again. According to the CBC, the mayor apparently unfurled some expletives at a 911 dispatcher during that 22 Minutes ambush on Monday. It seems like dispatchers got a taste of Rob “The Jock” Ford. How predictable. Actually, busting out any other personality would probably have been better. Here’s a list of suggestions.   

1. The Rhett Butler: "Frankly, you bitches, I don't give a damn."
2. The Snoop Dogg: “Yo… biznitches! It's me, the top dogg of the T-sizzle."
3. The Nero: "You… plebians. Don’t you know? I am the almighty, all-knowing, all-seeing overlord of the fiefdom known as 'Toronto.'"
4. The Darth Vader: “You… I am your mayor.”
5. The Emeril Lagasse: "Don’t you know? I'm your mayor. BAM!"
6. The Sarah Palin: "Am I your mayor, bitches? You betcha! [Wink!]"
7. The Will Hunting: "I'm your mayor, bitches. How do you like THEM apples!?"
8. The Scholar: “You… ignoramus. Is it not apparent? This is the democratically elected, benevolent and the occasionally — unjustifiably — criticized¹ mayor of Toronto.”
9. The Mercutio: “I am thy mayor. Didst thou not know? A plague on both your houses!”
10. The James Bond: “Ford. Rob Ford. Bitches!”
11. The Yoda: Bitches you are, hmmm that you don't know. The mayor of this city am I. Rob f—ing Ford.

UPDATE: Rob Ford has posted a response to the CBC article on his Facebook page, in which he denies making “foul and derogatory comments towards the female 911 staff.” He admits using the “f-word” though.