In a week when Canadians could use some distraction from global conflicts, Trump, ongoing economic concerns and a global climate crisis, the country has been blessed with a new and truly ridiculous cultural moment: Drake has started a beef with Jagmeet Singh. Yes, that Jagmeet Singh — the former Federal NDP leader, part-time TikTok heartthrob, and now, apparently, Drake’s sworn political enemy for, wait for it, going to a Kendrick Lamar concert.
To recap: Kendrick Lamar came to Toronto for two shows at Rogers Centre, a move already newsworthy given his ongoing war with Drake. But it wasn’t the concert that created this weird only-in-Toronto moment — it was the fact that Singh was in the audience, along with 50,000 other people from the area.
Yes, the man who breathed new life into the failing federal NDP, the first non-white political to lead a major political party found himself in the pop star’s naughty books after he was spotted at the concert.
Drake found out about it and did what any reasonable adult who has become a global brand and can basically buy whatever he wants on the planet would do: posted a DM screenshot on Instagram where he called Jagmeet a “goof.”
That’s it. That’s the beef.
Of course, Singh, for some misguided reason, came back at Drake with an apology. “I went for SZA, not Kendrick,” he wrote in his defence on a follow-up post. He even pledged allegiance to Drake, writing “it’ll always be Drake over Kendrick.”
Why an intelligent and progressive person such as Singh, who has spend the last dozen or so years of this life working to make the lives of Canadians better, would feel it necessary to apologise to this guy’s rude and, let’s face it, ego-maniacal comment is beyond me. But he did.
The exchange has ignited speculation, at least in this office, over who else Drake might beef with next in this petty war on his own city. So, we decided to suss out a few options.
Possible Future Toronto Targets on Drake’s Beef Radar
Margaret Atwood – The literary legend has long been suspected of being too wordsy for some and not nearly street enough for the former Forest Hill resident who now occupies a massive mansion dubbed the Embassy in the city’s wealthiest neighbourhood. Drake might be angered to discover that Margaret Atwood has been banned in Russia and censored far more times than the lint-roller-loving rapper. And, most shockingly, she has never named a character after him.
The Weeknd – Once OVO’s golden child, now a global superstar with a mounting number of acting credits. Rumour has it Drake, who already learned that he has fallen behind the Weeknd in the number of songs with a billion streams on Spotify, might be jealous that Abel got to play creepy cult leaders and he didn’t even get called to audition. It seems like such a natural fit come to think of it. Insiders say Drake might be pitching a Degrassi-themed reboot where he plays all 17 roles to make up for lost time.
Maestro Fresh Wes – The man who “Let Your Backbone Slide” may have put Canadian hip hop on the map, but Drake wants that map updated — with him as every landmark and the city renamed Papi Town in his honour.
Olivia Chow – Toronto’s mayor could be facing growing pressure to declare a “Drake Day,” or else suffer the Aubrey’s scorn. After all, Drake has given so much to this city, where he was raised and flourished and became fabulously wealthy where most everyone hangs on his every word. Plus, he owns a Dave’s Hot Chicken. What else does a guy have to do?
Long story short, Drake should apologize to Singh and come back to earth with the rest of us. The end.