Three ways to enjoy next week's Somewhereness Ontario wine event

Somewhereness is a celebration of Ontario wines, wherein some of the province’s top wineries will showcase their finest and latest offerings. After a keynote address by international wine writer and educator Ian D’Agata, winemakers will present their wares. Whether you’re a know-it-all or a novice, the evening could be educational and fun (depending on how you approach it). Below, three ways to enjoy Somewhereness 2011.


The wine-snob approach

1. Raise your nose all night, except while sniffing the bouquet of each wine.
2. Hold your glass pretentiously by the base and swirl the wine impatiently.
3. Slurp it like it’s hot tea.
4. Make a face conveying a suitable degree of disapproval, with a knowing nod to your neighbour.
5. Spit like you mean it.

The get-your-money’s-worth approach

1. Choose a seat near the bathroom.
2. Adopt a wide stance, brace elbows on table.
3. Down the hatch and ask for more.
4. Repeat step three indefinitely.

The open-minded approach

1. Keep your ears and eyes open, as well as your mind, because there’s a lot to be learned about wine in general and Ontario wines in particular.
2. During the structured tasting, don’t hesitate to spit in the cup you are provided for the purpose. At this stage it’s a tasting, not a stag party. If you don’t spit the first five, you won’t truly taste the last five.
3. Take notes on the tasting sheets provided, whether to write the winemaker’s comments, the characteristics that strike you (“oaky with hints of caramel and bacon”) or just to give it your own rating (“not too shabby!”). After the structured tasting, you can spend the rest of the night getting refills of your favourites and asking the winemakers for more details or more selections.

Somewhereness 2011, Japanese Canadian Cultural Centre, May 10

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