At Queen East's WAYLA Bar on Monday, five gals from Centennial College group emPoweR made sure ugly sweaters got their due. During a fundraiser that sent proceeds to Dress For Success Toronto (a charity to help women looking for work), tacky decorations, ill-fitting sleeves and itchy sweaters were buzzing about the bar.
There is no doubt that taking a sarcastic poke at Christmas with an ugly sweater is one of the best ways to get festive. Below, five ways to make sure your sweater is properly ugly this season.
1. Busy is better. Anything that glows or makes your sweater look like a Christmas tree has you miles above the rest when it comes to the ugly stakes. Sweaters that play music are good. Sweaters that play music out of the mouth of an animal — like a penguin or duck — are better.
2. It doesn't have to be Christmas-themed to be ugly. Let's not pigeonhole ourselves with Christmas-only ugly sweaters. Next time your grandma asks if she can sew a bunch of egg cartons to the front of your sweater, let her. Shag carpet sweaters showing images of golf buggies or maps of the world are a stark reminder that not all ugly sweaters need to hail from the last month of the year to be deemed ugly. When you get the "call of the ugly," harness it. Embrace it.
3. If it's dirt cheap, it's got to be ugly. Value Village and Goodwill all have one thing in common: low price tags. The $3 sweater racks are usually filled with hideous apparel — ones with zig zags, geese and the like. There is a reason for that. Nobody wants them. If they weren't ugly, they'd still be with their original owner. That's fine though. At least the price is right.
4. Sweaters that let you play. Who would ever think of designing a sweater that came armed with toys, crossword puzzles or hangman? It's probably a good idea. At least you'd have something to do while waiting for the TTC. Though you certainly can't weave your PS3 into your sweater. Or can you?
5. Should I wear it? If, after hours of ugly sweater shopping, you stop and look in the mirror and ask yourself: "can I live with myself if I wear this in public?" then look no further. That means you've found the one. Go forth and buy it.