Lewd, crude and sometimes rude, Ed the Sock has been pushing the envelope on hot-button topics since the ‘90s. With all that ‘tude, it’s no surprise that the most famous tube sock in the world is long overdue for a good roasting. The first Dark Comedy Festival presents The Roast of Ed the Sock on Sept. 28 as part of its 10-day event. Just don’t mention the word "dryer." We caught up with Ed to talk about boy bands, politics and Mel Gibson.
Why are you always in a bad mood?
First of all, who says I’m in a bad mood? Just because I don’t smile doesn’t mean I’m always in a bad mood.
Are you worried no one will pay attention to your roast since it follows Charlie Sheen’s?
If getting attention means I’m snorting rock balls of cocaine, then I’ll pass on the attention.
What do you think they’ll throw at you during the roast?
I really have no idea. I’m sure someone will roll out some lame ethnic joke, like jokes about socks. Something about dryers and getting lint on me. Lame. But what’s there to criticize anyway?
You’ve run for Prime Minister. Would you consider running for mayor of Toronto?
I did that already, too. Some beer-funded shill. And there were enough spoiled ballots to piss off the chief executing officer. Would I do it again? I’m setting my sights on something higher. I’d run for Prime Minister again, but would install myself as a benevolent dictator who dictates that there’d be no more elections. Besides, will there even be a Toronto after Rob Ford is done with it?
Do you miss interviewing boy bands?
Is that really even a question? Think about it.
Who are you voting for in the provincial election?
That’s a tough question. I usually think there’s a platform that’s close enough to anyone’s ideals, but in this case, it’s very difficult. Dalton McGuinty is rowing in circles; Tim Hudak is rowing backwards, and Andrea Horwath is saying, "here’s a canoe, but someone else will pay for it."
What’s been the most embarrassing moment of your career?
I’ve never been embarrassed. I’ve been embarrassed for people I’ve been with, people I’ve had to interview. Trying to have an intelligent conversation with Ashlee Simpson was embarrassing. Vanilla Ice? Embarrassing. The worst thing is when they try to be clever and smart and they are anything but clever and smart. Or when they try to one-up me and fail miserably.
You’ve said you can’t actually smoke. So do you have any vices?
I can smoke. I can inhale and exhale. Just don’t ask me to get into the physiological workings of a sock. I don’t think I have any more vices. Except Mel Gibson movies. Not seeing them, but knowing he's making them and nobody is seeing them. If I had more vices, I’d be a happy individual and that would inevitably ruin my career.
The Roast of Ed the Sock, Comedy Bar, Sept 28.
