When my four kids were all engaged in after-school activities, we had a rule that no one kid could have something to get to more than twice a week. The logistics (and the budgeting) just didn’t work. So, if you were enrolled in hockey, that was it, as most teams require at least one practice and one game a week.
We also had a rule that, if you started an activity, you had to see it through to the end of the session.
We let our children pick their activities, with the exception of swimming lessons, as we felt this was a basic life skill that we wanted our kids to have, as, like many Canadian families, we are by the water quite a bit.
So how do you know which activities your children will be interested in and which ones they’ll carry forward? How do you motivate them to take the activities you (secretly) want them to pursue and still balance a normal family life?
1. Start kids off with a multi-sports or multi-activity program or camp to see where their natural interests and abilities lie. Many community centres offer this type of programming, so kids can try out a variety of things without you investing too much money in equipment or supplies.
2. Don’t force your kids to be interested in the same sports. Although it’s certainly easier to have all of your kids interested in the same activity, it doesn’t always happen that way, and it’s painful for both you and the child to push it. Out of four kids, two of mine love hockey. One didn’t even try out, and the other only lasted a season. We were more than fine with this; we were relieved.
3. Let them take a program they genuinely enjoy, not one where you’re already counting the payback from future contracts. Don’t tell your seven-year-old: “But this is a great university sport!” or, “Professionals get paid a lot of money to do this!” It’s too much pressure, and kids can’t fathom what doing an activity professionally would even look like.
4. It’s OK if your child doesn’t play the same sports you did. It’s great to share stories with the child about what you used to do “back in the day,” but if none of your children aspires to excel in your activity of choice, let it drop. We all have our own talents. Let your child discover for himself or herself if he or she likes a sport much as you did. Also, don’t criticize the way kids are learning now, or try to override the coach’s advice.
5. Make sure your child is interested in the sport personally, not just because a pal is in the program. What’s great about sports is that it brings kids from different schools, backgrounds and even ages together in a joint pursuit. It’s terrific if a child has a best friend that’s also interested in the same sport, and it’s ideal for carpooling purposes. But don’t let that be your prime motivator.
6. Find the right balance for your family and for your child. Committing to an activity can mean giving up other things. If one child’s activity is taking up all of the family’s free time on evenings and weekends, it can feel unfair and upsetting to the child (or children) who are left at home or constantly being forced to be in the stands for their sibling. Parents should try to take turns being the primary supporter of each child’s activity and find ways to interact with the kids who aren’t involved in that activity, to avoid feelings of favouritism.