I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant with Holt, who was born six weeks ago. It got so bad, I took to naming my love handles, Pancake on the left and French Fry on the right. Get the picture?
I lost 40 pounds in the past few weeks by just eating healthy, avoiding sugar and fried foods and basically having no fun (or pancakes or French fries).
As everyone seems to know but me, the last 20 pounds are the hardest to lose. Although I’m not one who believes in quick fixes, I figure I put in my time, I’m doing my weights and giving up my goodies. Why can’t I get a little help? No, I’m not talking about sucking out my love handles.
But when I heard about the non-invasive, painless Universal Contour Wrap, well, I thought I should try it out. You know, research. I mean, if I could lose six inches just by being bandaged up lying down for an hour, it was worth a shot. People need to know about this stuff, right?
The thing with body wraps is that they are offered, well, everywhere, but they are all different to some degree and all claim to have the secret recipe for taking off the weight.
Hair Sculpture and Spa, located on Yonge Street just north of Davenport, also offers something called the Eurowave, billed as the “ultimate slimming machine.” So I went for the double-double.
It seemed a lot easier than seeing my trainer, who makes me actually sweat and work out.
I meet Bielinah, the woman who is going to do the treatments, and she tells me that she has clients who come in every three weeks for these treatments, some from as far away as the United States.
First, she measures my rib cage and my waist because the patches of the Eurowave are going to target my stomach (problem area numero uno!). Next, I’m hooked up with wires to a machine. (If you’ve ever had an ECG, it looks the same.) She cranks it up, and a tingling sensation grabs a hold of my love handles and stomach. I imagine the little electrical impulses zapping those pesky love handles to smithereens.
She ups the intensity every couple of minutes and can go as high as 25, but I stop at 18.
“This is like doing 200 sit-ups,” she says, and I really want to believe her. This “treatment” only lasts 18 minutes, I don’t sweat at all and nobody is up in my face asking for five more, just five more!
After she unhooks me, she measures me again and tells me I’ve lost 2.2 inches, which I think is fantastic.
My stomach is still tingling when I get into a disposable pair of underwear and bra, so I can begin the Universal Contour Body Wrap ($200).
Bielinah measures me again, but this time everything, including my jaw line, neck, upper chest, bust, under bust, rib cage, waist, abdominal, butt, hips, both thighs, mid-thighs, knees, calves, ankles, biceps, forearms and even my wrists.
I’m standing up as she wraps warm bandages “soaked in a secret solution” (some sort of mineral-rich clay) all around me. I look ridiculous, but sometimes a girl has to look ridiculous for a good cause. She uses approximately 20 bandages to wrap my entire body and then helps me into a silver rubber suit. I look like I’m 400 pounds and should be on a rocket ship.
The bandages are firm under my “spacesuit,” but I’m not claustrophobic. She tells me I have to lie there for an hour, and I do (reading about Kate Middleton in an old issue of Hello magazine wondering if she has to sit in a silly looking spacesuit to shed those vacation pounds? — probably not…).
After an hour, Bielinah comes back to get me. By this point the bandages are warm and soggy, and I’m itching like mad, so I’m desperate to get them off.
She measures me and tells me I’ve lost 11.2 inches overall. She also tells me that I shouldn’t shower for three days (gross) because the clay solution continues to work and make your skin silky smooth, helping with the tightening process.
So, now, do I notice anything right away? I really want to. The love handles still seem to be there, but I must admit my butt looks a lot better, and almost all the cellulite is gone.
But Bielinah reminds me: This doesn’t work on its own. I will still need to eat healthy and exercise and drink a lot of water. (I knew just doing these treatments alone was too good to be true.)
The following day I go to see my trainer. “I lost 11.2 inches,” I tell him. He looks at me skeptically and finally says, “Well your stomach does look a little smaller. But I still call bulls**t on the wrap.” He would say that.
Apparently the results last for 30 days. And it was pretty relaxing and revitalizing. But, in the meantime, I’m back to working out, no sugar, no fried foods and no fun. See you at boot camp?
Post City Magazines’ columnist Rebecca Eckler is the author of Knocked Up, Wiped!, and her latest books, How to Raise a Boyfriend and The Lucky Sperm Club.