Toronto-based musicians Lily Frost and José Miguel Contreras found each other through their love for music. The two balance writing, recording, performing and touring as separate artists on top of their love life, and, despite their hectic schedules, the indie singer and By Divine Right front man have managed to develop a lasting relationship as well as a beautiful family.
Here, Frost shares how they met.
How they met
We first met at a Martin Tielli concert. A few weeks later at a music industry shindig, José introduced himself, and we talked all night until he had to leave for a recording session. I knew he was my soul mate. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him. A mutual friend gave me his number, which led to the scariest moment of my life. After a shot (or two) of whisky, I called him with the invitation to go to the art gallery. When he promptly replied, we talked until my phone died.
Their first date
Soon after that first phone call, he came to visit me. It was noon, we sat in the kitchen and drank tea. José was wearing ripped jeans and a huge smile on his face. We stared into each other’s eyes, and as he talked, his face seemed to morph into different ages and races. I had never experienced anything like that. We talked for hours, and then he had to hit the road again. We kissed at the top of the stairs.
The courtship
José would leave poems hidden around my place, which I would unexpectedly find when he was on tour. One evening, he presented me with a little pouch containing pieces of twisted metal, pieces of rock and shells. I would make various patterns with them, always reading “love.” He toured China early into our courting. Talk about long-distance love: I could have flown there for the price of those phone bills.
The proposal
On New Year’s Day 2004 at his flat, he proposed to me and I accepted. The ring would come later, at his father’s cottage. José had designed it — two interweaving, spiralling chords of gold surrounding a pink tourmaline stone.… I love pink and gold! The same Chilean jeweller also made our wedding rings on a full moon. We watched and helped him blend the melted gold with a drop of blood, a nail and a hair from both of us. He said, “Not all Chileans are this crazy.” Our rings are magic.
The big day
We were married legally at Toronto City Hall, and then later spiritually at the Great Hall. It was a private, native ceremony with a potluck dinner, followed by an open bar and three bands for our friends.
Their lives now
Our beautiful children, Meesha Moon Contreras (7) and Paloma Starr Contreras (2), are both very artistic, creative, open and bright. Our lives run according to the cycle of our recordings. We have to be well organized to be able to arrange all aspects of our family life and musical careers. I love singing, recording and performing with José. Nobody does it better. Singing in harmony is almost my favourite thing to do with him.
Secrets to success
Don’t hold grudges. Be honest. Have fun. Have wise mentors. Love.
