SOUTHERN BELLE
THE STOCKYARDS, 699 ST. CLAIR AVE. W.
“There are two things about fried chicken: First the smell, then the visual. You want that crispy, crunchy, well-seasoned coating,” says Crawford as she rolls up her sleeves, cracks a libation for her and her guest (“You can’t eat fried chicken without beer”) and gets down to business.
The Stockyards brines their chickens for 24 hours in a salt and sugar mix, then marinates them for a day before deep-frying them in a buttermilk and onion batter. The result? Moist, flavourful chicken in a crispy, ungreasy shell. “Moist, good flavour, good crunch. That’s what you’re going for,” says Crawford. “The winner, hands down.… Oh God, I’m gonna shoot myself. It’s probably KFC.”
Price: $13.50 for chicken dinner
FIRST RUNNER-UP
Harlem Underground, 745 Queen St. W.
“Well seasoned, not too salty, and there’s good crunch in the batter, great herbs,” says Crawford. Harlem marinates the chicken in buttermilk, sour cream and secret cajun spice for 48 hours before deep-frying.
Price: $13.95 for 5-piece dinner
CRISPY CRUNCH
Smokin’ Bones, 117 Dundas St. E.
“Look at these! Perfect temperature on the frying — it’s still so crispy. Listen!” she says as she noisily victimizes a crunchy thigh. “It looks good. Dark meat. See how juicy it is?” A little less grease and a touch less pepper would have earned it a higher standing.
Price: $6.99 for three pieces
SOGGY BOTTOM
All the Best Fine Foods, 1101 Yonge St
“What I see here is not an accessible fried chicken. Why? Because it’s just a boneless breast,” says Crawford. It’s skinless, too, meaning the moisture from the meat has soaked through to the batter, leaving a bloated, soggy mass that looks more like fish than chicken.
Price: $5.50 per piece
DREADED & BREADED
Bruno’s Fine Foods 1 St. Clair Ave. E.
The unexpected taste of fish makes Crawford deposit this one into her napkin. “Whose was that?!” she shrieks. “It’s breaded breast strips with a crust that is inedible.” The dark brown hue doesn’t help, either. “Tragic in its appearance.”