Cat and Nat tackle motherhood with wit and wisdom. Find them at catandnat.ca or @catandnat.
Honestly, being a parent during COVID-19 is different. Even if you were a stay-at-home parent before or if you were a homeschooler — it’s not the same at all!
We’ve talked about why moms are so tired in the past, but this is very different. Before you used to be able to take time to process. The kids would go to school and you could take a minute — one minute. You could think about how annoyed you were but then your brain could turn to thinking good thoughts. Then, by the time you pick them up from school, you’re actually thinking good thoughts. During COVID, there’s no time to marinate what has happened, and to come out on a fresh side. We’re like a bag of soggy lettuce — there’s no time to crisp yourself because every day is the same and there’s not a moment to breathe.
You wake up and you’re tired. All day, you’re tired. You go to bed and you’re tired. You’ve done nothing, but you’re tired because this state of being mentally tired is a greater level of tired than you could have ever imagined.
You cannot be everything your children need. They used to say, “All they need is you.” That’s a lie! Now they have us 24 hours a day and seven days a week, and they still literally need to touch us when we’re around. They’re still not okay. We’re not enough! They need way more than we could ever give them. They need friends, they need teachers, they need to get out of the house and out of our space! I never realized how important those extra-curricular activities were. They really fill their buckets and tire them out.
If you are feeling like you are failing, you probably are because you can’t give them everything they’ve ever wanted. We’ve come to realize the truth: The Mothership isn’t the only ship they need. We want you to know that even though you are 100 per cent failing, this is an unprecedented time when you cannot possibly succeed. They don’t have what they need and you are not enough, and that’s the beauty of it all. When we come out of this you’ll realize that you are not enough. That they need to go do those things. You need to stop feeling guilty about the things that you’re not enough for.
People are supposed to leave the house for six to eight hours a day, or more like nine to 10 hours and then come home to sleep. Home should be like a hotel room. I want to tell them the house is not open for business. I’m closing down the house, get out. Go! Go be something. Don’t just be my child, be something else! It’s time to launch!
All we hear is, “Mom, what’s for lunch? Mom, what’s for a snack? Mom, we have no food. Mom, when are we going back to school? Mom, when are we getting back to life?” I like the word mom, just not all day for six months!
I guess the point is, if you’re tired all day, and you don’t know why — your brain is tired. This is COVID-tired.
