This summer’s top grill marks

3:09 pm

IT’S THAT TIME of year again, the sun is shining, the grass is green, and it’s time to gather friends and family for a good old-fashioned barbecue. But what if you’re faithful old grill just isn’t giving you the same thrill as the old days? Is it time to move on to the big leagues?

This month we’ve done the groundwork for you, asking area experts about the hottest summer sellers and gourmet setups that will take your grill skills to the next level. By creating the ultimate backyard cooking environment, you’re sure to leave your guests impressed and stretch out the barbecue season well past the end of August.

At Sobie’s Barbecues (162 Willowdale Ave.), Ernest Amponsah says those looking for a top-of-theline grill need look no further than the TEC G3000, famous for its stainless infrared burner system, which can heat to 165°F in 3 minutes, cooking evenly and faster than any gas model.

“It’s amazing for the searing, and because it is so fast, it retains all the juices more than any other barbecue,” he says. “It’s a whole new grilling experience, and people say they find it difficult to go back to the old models because you get used to that faster cooking time.”

Retailing at $7,700, the heavyduty stainless steel unit, Amponsah says, offers 768 square inches of cooking space and is energy efficient, using 60 per cent less gas than the ceramic infrared burners on the market.

“Everybody who buys it just loves it; they just live in that barbecue,” he says.

At Classic Fireplace & Gourmet Grills Inc. (two locations, at 65 Rylander Blvd. and 1828 Queen St. E.) owner Joshua Malcolm says he recommends the Canadian-made Napoleon Prestige II Gemini grill for anyone looking to flex their gourmet grilling muscles this season.

Available for $3,000, the Gemini boasts twin cooking systems with two individual grill heads: a highintensity ceramic infrared bottom burner, for searing, and stainless steel commercial-grade tube burners for convection-style cooking. Add onto that a commercial-quality rotisserie, an additional side burner and 1,150 square inches of cooking surface, and Malcolm says customer response has been overwhelmingly positive.

“They love its versatility,” says Malcolm. “It’s so large and with the two lids, you can do two completely different types of cooking at the same time. It’s also locally made, which is something that many people are looking for these days.”

At 360 Living Inc. (360 Davenport Rd.), they carry the Fire Magic gas grills — some of this summer’s most sought-after units, boasting restaurant-grade stainless steel construction and extras like a control panel featuring digital meat and grill thermometers, internal halogen lights for nighttime grilling, and heat zone separators so you can cook multiple items at different temperatures.

“These are really the Rolls- Royces of barbecues,” says vicepresident of marketing Christine Denault. “The features are just beyond, beyond!”

Retailing for approximately $8,000, the grills are known as the barbecue of choice for professional chefs and have been featured on the Today Show’s grilling guide.

“Once people take them home, immediately they call back to say, “‘I want the turkey basket, all the accessories,’” says Denault.

“It’s really for someone who loves the art of barbecuing.”

Under T.O.’s Tuscan sun

3:08 pm

MOUNT PLEASANT ROAD has been gifted an authentic Italian ristorante, Florentia, courtesy of chef Bruno Soleri and Italian artist Marco Sassone.

Soleri moved to Toronto from Milan, Italy, a year ago, after visiting a friend in the city. He had worked at Canoe since his arrival, then decided to partner up with Marco Sassone, an old friend who had also moved to town from San Francisco.

“We’ve known each other for 14 years and always thought maybe we would do something together,” says Soleri. “The occasion presented itself, and we decided to take the opportunity to develop something nice and interesting.”

The new 32-seat restaurant will feature contemporary Italian cuisine, much from Soleri’s own Tuscan region.

The menu features homemade bread, pasta and desserts and roasted meats and fish. Sassone’s mural, entitled Florentia, a work that inspired the restaurant name, is permanently installed on site. Florentia is located at 579 Mount Pleasant Rd., 416-545- 1220.

A Glowing report

A collaboration between Peter Higley, the restaurant whiz behind the successful Pickle Barrel chain, and celebrity chef Rose Reisman, and her healthy take on gourmet dining, might prove to be a winning formula for Glow, a new restaurant at Shops at Don Mills.

The beautiful space is appropriately airy with huge portions of the restaurant dining room opening on the east wall to the patio overlooking the public green space in the middle of the new shopping area. Holding court in the centre of the dining room is a stunning blown glass piece by Dale Chihuly.

Meals have a health-conscious spin: burgers without the bun; steak, but eight ounces, not a pound, and serve it up with roasted vegetables. There is also a lineup of dessert shooters, at $3 a pop, instead of a whopping big slab of cheesecake — 150 calories in the books, instead of 600 to 800, according to Reisman.

“I think we might be one of the only restaurants in the country without a deep fryer,” says Reisman, who first consulted for Higley at Pickle Barrel where she designed healthy eating options and a budget-focused menu called Tighten Your Belt.

“I designed the menu at Glow based on fresher, lighter cuisine, seasonal and local whenever possible,” Reisman explains. “I call it ‘clean eating.’”

Glow is located at Shops at Don Mills, 7 Marie Labatte Rd., near Don Mills and Lawrence, 416-384- 1133.

Sweet Italian music

A new pizzeria in Thornhill is getting high praise for its quality offerings and casual, comfortable surroundings. Jazz Pizza, recently opened, operates as a takeout operation but also boasts a comfortable dining room complete with flat screen TVs and a bar menu. Jazz Pizza is located at 8141 Yonge St., 905-731-5299.

The chef, the legend, the food

Star chef Susur Lee may have left the city to seek fame and fortune south of the border, but his name lives on. Last month, Toronto’s SoHo Metropolitan Hotel created a unique culinary package focusing on the work of our most cherished culinary artist.

The package (starting at $385 per person) includes a night at the hotel as well as a number of fun extras. But the focus of the evening is a special five-course tasting menu, developed by Lee for the hotel, that features highlights from his Toronto restaurants Lee and Susur as well as Shang (New York) and Zentan (Washington) in the United States. There may also be items from Susur’s next big venture — Ruyi, slated to be opening in Singapore next month.

“The Metropolitan Hotels team is honoured to execute such a great partnership with Susur Lee, and we are excited to do so in the culturally rich city of Toronto,” said Henry Wu, president of Metropolitan Hotels. For more information, go to www.metropolitan.com or www.susur.com.

Neighbourhood roundup

Yorkville restaurant Boba closed up and has been sitting idle for a few months. But help is on the way. Zin is a new Asian eatery set to open in late July at the 90 Avenue Rd. location.

The fine folks at venerable Forest Hill steak house House of Chan, at 876 Eglinton Ave. W., have added a smattering of live jazz to the menu on a trial basis. According to the restaurant, if the first night is a success, you can expect other Saturday night jazz events beginning at 11 p.m. Call the restaurant, for further information, at 416-781-5575.

Evergreen and Slow Food Toronto have announced that Sunday, Oct. 4, is the date of the next installment of their very popular foodie affair: Picnic at the Brick Works. Locavores from miles around — not many miles, mind you, this is a local food event after all — will be on hand to serve up a mouth-watering array of food and drink.

Tickets are $90 in advance, and getting one is likely a good idea. Go to www.evergreen.ca/picnic for more information.

Gourmet burger joint with an earth-friendly twist, Terra, has been buried under an avalanche of new businesses in the upscale burger market and has closed its Eglinton Avenue West doors.

Fresh from opening a second Milagro location at Yonge and Lawrence, the owners are eyeing further expansion after taking over Coca on Queen Street West. Look for an opening later this summer.

We’ve known it for years, and finally the United States is in on the act. Congratulations to dessert queen Dufflet Rosenberg for winning a gold Sofi Award at the Sofi Awards in the United States last month, presented by the National Association for the Specialty Food Trade (NASFT).

The awards honour the outstanding specialty foods and beverages of the year in 33 categories. The award was given for the Dufflet Caramel Crackle, specifically the almond and pistachio variety.

Oliver & Bonacini have announced an addition to their growing family of restaurants, with a new operation slated for the Bell Lightbox opening in 2010. The Lightbox, at the corner of King and John, will be the new home of the Toronto International Film Festival as well as an upscale residential condominium.

Play the brain game and win smart, happy kids

3:08 pm

WHAT DO ARISTOTLE, da Vinci, Darwin, Gates and Old Doc Lester (here I am using poetic licence) have in common? Brainpower. Using intelligence to excel. There isn’t a parent who does not wish this for their kids. When considering the stimulation of your child’s brain, keep in mind that most brain growth occurs during early childhood. Total brain growth is 50 per cent by one year, 80 per cent by five years, and 100 per cent by 20 years. Therefore the first years are critical and offer a narrow window of opportunity to stimulate the child’s to his or her full potential.

How can parents help their children reach this potential? To develop brainpower, a parent must provide a child with enriched experiences. Constant encouragement of the use of imagination and curiosity fuels the developing young mind. Learning must be fun. It cannot and should not be forced on a child just to meet a parent’s agenda.

Learning is also done in different ways. First there is the type of learning that has no content, no reference points. For example, ask a child to subtract two from three. This type of learning requires memorization and continued reinforcement to be retained. Another type of learning is called authentic or experiential learning. These are lessons taught in context and born out of real experience.

Consider the following, in keeping with the first example: A child may be asked, ‘If you have three apples and you give one to Mommy and one to Daddy, how many apples do you have for yourself?’ Here the learning experience is more real, has more meaning and therefore is more likely to be retained, especially since it is more fun.

A young child at a summer cottage looks into a calm lake and is fascinated by the dancing shadows of a tree’s leaves. This is a perfect opportunity to teach about shadows and reflection and may even shape the course of the child’s interests in the future. This is authentic learning at its best.

While such moments can lead to positive brain development, there are also many factors that can certainly impede brain power. Smoking, consumption of alcohol and stress while pregnant can have adverse effects on proper brain development.
After a birth, chronic iron deficient anemia and malnutrition have negative effects on intellectual development in children. Social isolation and lack of stimulation also prevent children from reaching their full potential.

Everyone has an upper limit to their brainpower. It is up to parents to ensure that each child has the opportunity to reach that potential fully. Every child should also be given the opportunity for a head start. Preschool education is one way to prime your child, socially and intellectually, for learning.

That said, remember that superior brainpower is nice, but it’s not everything. I would rather have a happy, well-rounded, emotionally stable, average child than an unhappy genius.

Post City Magazines’ kids’ health columnist, Dr. Mickey Lester, has been a pediatrician for more than 30 years and is the former chief of pediatrics at Trillium Health Centre

Getting down with K-town

3:08 pm

JUST WEST OF the heart of the Annex lies a little strip of Bloor Street known sometimes as Koreatown, sometimes as the Korean Business Area (or K.B.A.) and sometimes as Ktown, but to most, it’s simply called Little Korea.

The same young urbanites who shop the bohemian blocks to the east frequent K-town’s restaurants and businesses on the hunt for perpetually hip and authentically Asian offerings, from buckwheat noodles to animae-emblazoned fashions, and much of the Annex seems to run together. But make no mistake, K-town is unique.

My guide to the area is Tanya Kim, the Korean-Canadian cohost (along with Ben Mulroney) of the CTV entertainment show etalk. Born in Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., Kim came to Toronto and studied at Ryerson before moving on to a job at MuchMusic and, ultimately, the hosting gig. She also lived in the Annex for a time and was charmed by the ethnic strip.

“Growing up in Sault Ste. Marie, there wasn’t a big Korean community,” she tells me as we walk along. “Basically, there was my family. That’s it. It’s so unlike here where you have access to your culture full-time.”

As we head along, we pass small, corner groceries with produce stacked outside; gift shops; and small restaurants. “You should try these little corner joints,” says Kim. “Places that look suspect are sometimes really delicious.”

Food is foremost in Kim’s mind this morning, as she tells me that one of her favourite things about K-town is that it gives her access to authentic, Korean dishes that take little prep.

“You just throw stuff on the barbecue,” she says, adding quickly, “but, of course, it’s not as good as my mom’s. Put that in!”

It’s early in the the day, so we forgo a BBQ stop and head instead to Hodo Kwaja (656 Bloor St. W.). The small bakery, also known as “Walnut Cake” serves (you guessed it) walnut cakes. Reminiscent of doughnut holes (think Timbits), these Korean pastries are stuffed with red bean paste. “They’re best when they’re fresh and hot,” says Kim, and we head in to buy some. Alas, it looks like we’ve missed much of morning prep, which is perhaps the most interesting thing about Hodo Kwaja. The shop features an open concept production area up front where patrons can watch the cakes being made (often between around 10 and 11 a.m.). A massive, iron machine presses the dough into shape and the assembly-line process is mesmerizing. The cakes are also inexpensive. Six go for about a dollar.

We move on to restaurants — Korea House (666 Bloor St. W.) and Il Bun Ji (668 Bloor St. W.). Kim stops between the two and is loathe to pick a favourite. “I can’t. I like them both. But I’m boring, I always order the same thing.” At both joints that thing is kimchi jjigae. She hunts the windows for a picture. (Photos are a staple at restaurants in the area.)

“You either love it or you hate it,” says Kim. “And I love it. Anything that is hot and spicy, I love. Kimchi, you know, is fermented cabbage, sort of like sauerkraut, and jjigae means, like, ‘stew’.” She hastens to reiterate that no one makes the dish better than her mother.

Across the street we check out P.A.T. Central Market (675 Bloor St. W.), a large, white block of a building that resembles a Kinkos. Inside, it’s an Asian grocery paradise, with a focus on the prepared foods mentioned earlier. Row upon row of frozen dumplings, a staggering array of instant noodles and more condiments than you could imagine give way to marinated, refrigerated meats, tubs of fresh and preserved seafood and, of course, kimchi.

Kim focuses on a display of red-tinged tubs, which she holds up one by one. “I love this area! People are going to think I’m gross, but it’s so good. Spicy squid, fish eggs, and here’s the kimchi!” P.A.T. is something of a department store and above the main level is a mezzanine of booths selling clothing, jewellery and beauty products. Kim tries on funky shades and a bejewelled visor, amid buckets of mock Crocs, blingy earrings and sleepwear. “It’s one-stop shopping. You can get everything here — food, clothes, underwear,” she quips.

At the beauty counter, we chat with Joo Joo, a salesgirl who tells us that P.A.T. is a mini-chain with six Toronto locations and that they’ve been open for 16 years. Though we aren’t buying, Joo Joo insists we take free samples to go. “Korean products are really great,” says Kim. “I remember looking at my mom’s Korean fashion magazines, and they always had the newest and latest age-defying stuff.”

With food and fashion checked off, our last K-town stop is BMB Karaoke (593 Bloor St. W.), just one of the two popular crooning halls in the ’hood. (The other is XO Karaoke, 693 Bloor St. W.) Karaoke being more of a nighttime activity, the place is closed, but Kim likes the idea of their private rooms. “I like singing karaoke, but I don’t know if other people like me singing karaoke, if you know what I mean,” she says. Besides that, she notes a sign in the window: “Look! You can make your own record. It’s only $10.”

As we prepare to part ways on the street, a girl calls out a hello and honks from her car. Kim smiles and waves back and explains that she is often recognized in the area. “I can’t thank the Korean community enough,” she says. “There’s nothing like the support you get from your own community.” And of course, there’s nothing like the food.

Spud-sational

3:08 pm

ALTHOUGH HAZEL’S SEEMS to struggle with settling into one identity on this popular strip of Yonge north of Lawrence, the kitchen offers a few gems that might very well see them through the confusion.

Many elements of the long, skinny room give off a high-end bistro feel. Two modern art pieces and a large framed mirror hang on the exposed brick and baby blue–painted walls. Black banquettes run along one wall, and a handful of stools pull up to elevated tables near the door.

But other aspects of the decor lend themselves more to an economical diner style. And the food, as outlined in the confusing plastic menu, firmly falls under the diner category.

Groups of moms shushing babies in Bugaboos and local workers socializing at lunch choose from all-day breakfasts, sandwiches, burgers, salads and mains such as fish and chips.

A whopping, killer chocolate milkshake ($4) stands up to the straw test, and it’s tempting to suck back the whole thing before the food comes.

Egg lovers choose from six offerings, ranging from the most creative Tuscan omelette, with goat cheese, sundried tomatoes and baby spinach, to all-day breakfast of two eggs, bacon, toast and home fries (just $3.99 before 11 a.m. or $6.95 after).

“CHEQUE PLEASE”
HAZEL’S DINER
3401 Yonge St.
416-850-0121
Lunch for two excluding tax,
tip and alcohol:
$25

The star of the eggs Benedict breakfast ($9.95) is its hash browns. Wickedly peppery, cooked with onion, these potatoes alone may deserve a second visit.

Elsewhere on the plate, two extrafirm poached eggs (no runny yolk here!) sit on their nests of very thinly sliced peameal and toasted English muffin.

A good but meager serving of hollandaise unites the two stacks in flavour while a small assortment of fruit contributes colour and sweetness.

Classic assemblies line the sandwich list: grilled cheese, tuna melt, hot roast beef, western, BLT, clubhouse and Reuben.

The clubhouse plate ($10) succeeds in some ways and disappoints in others. Toothpicks pierce each quarter of ho-hum whole wheat, moist chicken, cold and somewhat rubbery bacon, a single layer of lettuce and fresh, juicy tomatoes. Mayo — or any other condiment for that matter — is MIA, giving an overall dry texture. Expert deep-frying brings thinly cut French fries to perfect crispness.

Our health-conscious taste buds tingle at the sight of a side order of house salad ($3): thick (and I mean thick!) slabs of cucumber cut on the bias, chopped purple onion and juicy wedges of tomato mingle with fresh mixed green lettuces. Sadly, the lot could be colder and more crisp.

Desserts, if you’ve got room for them, are made in-house and follow the delicious diner theme: pie with ice cream, apple-berry crumble, bread pudding and cheesecake.

Ratings are on a scale of one to five stars

A league of his own

3:08 pm

IT IS CLEAR from the warm welcome we receive, even on a busy Saturday night, that the Franco Agostino machine is running smoothly despite being open only a few weeks. From the man responsible for Caffé Doria, Banfi and Il Posto Nuovo, it is not surprising. Timing is precise and the aura is warm.

The menu fits on one page but is wisely supplemented by many specials in every category. This clear dedication to offering only that which is fresh instills confidence in us.

Carpaccio is a fine opening act, as barely seared translucent slices of tenderloin are fetchingly fanned across the plate and glisten with the reflection of purest extra virgin olive oil.

Beneath a mound of peppery arugula sits a smaller pile of Parmesan shavings ($12). Brodetto di vongole e gamberi keeps the hits rolling. Two steamed gulf shrimp and a halfdozen delicate mahogany clams arrive in a pool of broth enlivened by chilies and fresh basil.

Although this reads like a Thai rendition, it is pure Italian and piques my appetite for what is to follow ($12).

“CHEQUE PLEASE”
AGOSTINO’S
2497 Yonge St.
647-351-0507
Dinner for two excluding tax,
tip and alcohol:
$75

Faraona grigliata, which is grilled guinea hen with prunes in vin santo and fava beans ($20), tempts. However, fettuccine al ragu bolognese wins. Slightly undercooked pasta is graced by the classic sauce, one which is often misperceived on this side of the Atlantic. Conditioning has taught us to expect a sea of red sauce with hamburger meat, but true ragu is much more subtle than that, and the kitchen at Agostino’s is well schooled. The tomato is minimal and the beef finely ground. In addition, this is smoother than is usual ($16).

However, seafood linguini is the true star of the evening. Coated in a light tomato sauce, the pasta is a bed for a generous offering of clams, mussels, shrimp and calamari. Impressively, the timing is precise, and no item is over or under cooked.

Piquancy is derived from roasted halves of grape tomatoes as well as a subtle but confident use of fresh herbs. ($17).

Desserts are not a major focus here. The list extends to tiramisù, crème caramel, ice cream and berries. We are assured by the elegant proprietor that the house tiramisù is the best in town.

Unfortunately, we find this version heavier than expected. It is clear to me that, save for the sweet course, I must return if only to try the guinea hen and fennel pollen. And, any ristorante that offers Amarone by the glass must not be overlooked.

Ratings are on a scale of one to five stars

Fighting for life in Africa

3:08 pm

In stark contrast to the waiting rooms with flat-screen television sets at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto, is the waiting area of the HIV clinic where Dr. Adrienne Chan also works in Malawi, Africa.

“Sometimes it’s so busy that people are housed on the floor,” Chan says, “with the rats and the bugs and the dirt.”

As the medical co-ordinator for Dignitas International — a medical-humanitarian group that is dedicated to improving access to HIV and AIDS drugs and preventative care for people in the developing world — Chan spends 10 months of the year residing in Malawi and the other two in Toronto as a physician specializing in infectious diseases.

“I love that about coming back,” she says. “I get to see the best of what medicine has to offer and what we can aspire to. Everybody deserves to have the best.”

Chan has been working for Dignitas since 2007. She provides access to life-extending antiretroviral drugs, which help prevent HIV from developing into AIDS.

“Those drugs have revolutionized HIV treatment in Africa,” she says. “Since Dignitas has been there, since 2004, last week we put our 10,000th patient on those drugs.”

Around 70,000 people live in the district that Chan serves, which has one of the lowest doctor-to-patient ratios in the world. According to Chan, an astonishing 18 per cent of the adult population is HIV positive.

The organization also provides HIV testing, counselling, support, pediatric care and interventions. Chan decided to get involved in international health in 2005, after a life-changing visit to Zimbabwe. “I was going to be an academic physician, focusing on clinical work,” she says. “I came back from Zimbabwe and basically said, ‘Now I want to go and work in Africa.’”

“ I came back from Zimbabwe and basically said, ‘Now I want to go and work in Africa.’”

She spent the next year planning the most effective way to make that happen. While at Harvard University, she attended a lecture by Dr. James Orbinski, one of the cofounders of Dignitas. After the lecture, Chan introduced herself to the man who, coincidentally, had also spoken at her University of Toronto convocation.

“I felt inspired by the mission of Dignitas and their philosophical approach to doing international work and development work,” she says.

Chan is currently the only Canadian and the only doctor working in the HIV clinic. Most of the staff are Malawian, which she finds inspiring.

“When you are confronted with the huge inequity between Malawi and Canada, it inspires a whole bunch of different feelings — it inspires rage, it inspires sadness,” Chan says. “You really want to try to do something to change the system that has allowed such inequity to happen. Chan says, when she’s back in Toronto for those two months of the year, she likes to de-stress by visiting her family in the same North York home that she was raised in and by taking advantage of local food luxuries, like drinking Tim Hortons coffee and going to Terroni for a mushroom salad.

But Africa always calls her back.

“I have all these skills, I have all this training,” she says. “I’m at a place in my life where I can leave my comfort zone and move to a place that needs me more.”

Post City salutes Dr. Adrienne Chan and all Dignitas workers for helping bring HIV-AIDs drugs, prevention and education to people in Malawi.

August’s awesome crop

3:08 pm

There are no other vegetables more delicious in the summer than the wide variety of Ontario-grown tomatoes. They are a poster food at this time of year. Eating the field or beefsteak, freshly sliced with a little kosher salt, olive oil and balsamic vinegar, can be a meal in itself. I toss the small varieties into my salads, salsas and toppings for fish, chicken or beef. Tomatoes are also a powerhouse of nutrients. They contain vitamin C, which protects us from free radicals; vitamin A, which improves our immune system and eyesight; niacin, which lowers cholesterol and triglycerides; potassium, which can help lower blood pressure; and lycopene, which prevents damage to the cells causing cancer. They come in different colours to make your table bright and they are low in fat and calories. Technically speaking, the they’re fruits, but in the culinary universe, vegetables. Regardless, you can never eat too many so enjoy!

Pesto-stuffed Heirloom Tomatoes

Plum Tomato Soup Shooters

Calamari & Roma Tomato Salad

Rose’s Tip: How to select the best and keep them fresh

The most commonly used tomatoes are the beefsteak, field, plum and the tiny cherry-sized varieties. The yellow varieties are less acidic and have less flavour than the red, but make a dish attractive. When selecting tomatoes, smell them first. There should be a rich tomato aroma. Those that are still on the vine will always taste the best though they do tend to cost a little more. Make sure that the tomatoes you choose are round, full and heavy for their size. The skin should be tight, not shriveled. Store tomatoes in a cool, dark place and use within a few days. If they’re not ripe, do not refrigerate them. They will ripen in a room-temperature environment.

Post City Magazines’ culinary columnist, Rose Reisman, is author of 17 cookbooks, a TV and radio personality and a health and wellness expert. Visit Rose at www.rosereisman.com.

From friend to frenemy

3:08 pm

TEENAGE GIRLS’ NEW word is “frenemy.” It means precisely what it sounds like: Today you are my worst enemy, I hate your guts for life. Yesterday you were my bff (best friend forever). Tomorrow? I will never forgive you.

Imagine you are this girl’s parents. You ask questions: “What was the fight about?” “Why are you mad at her?” Then you try to help: You tell your daughter that everything is going to be all right, and you’re sure she can patch things up with her bff.

At which point, your street cred is in the gutter. Your teenager knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are an idiot. What makes you an idiot is that you are failing to understand that, to a teenage girl, today’s emotions are a) overwhelmingly huge, b) seemingly permanent and c) way too freaky to discuss rationally. By failing to acknowledge those three aspects of your daughter’s reality, you effectively end the conversation. She tunes out because you don’t get it.

The other horribly common experience in the lives of teenage girls is being relegated to social Siberia. This happens when your daughter either gets dumped by the cool girls or doesn’t even get to first base with them. To us, it looks as if there’s a classroom (or a camp cabin) with eight nice girls, all of whom are appropriate “friendship targets,” and we suggest that.

When girls hear lectures about branching out, they may nod politely (if we’re lucky), but what they’re thinking inside is: “Grown-ups are so stupid. I don’t even like those girls. And the two cool ones that I do like would never be my friend.” They find our advice ludicrous in the face of their experience of the social hierarchies at work. Same response as in the frenemy conversation: She tunes out.

Conversation over.

What then are adults to do in the face of girls’ social struggles? Seek first to understand. Carol Gilligan’s groundbreaking research at Harvard in the ’80s demonstrated that, while boys tend to be primarily task driven, for girls, relationships come first.

Thus when friendships are not going well for girls, their world falls apart. Unfortunately this tough truth is made more difficult by girls’ tendency to use friendship as a weapon or a power tool when they have feelings of aggression or anger —perhaps because they’re socialized not to act angry out loud. The result is a lot of painful, ugly jockeying for social power and position in groups of girls. We see the queen bees and their handmaidens, the wannabes and the isolated girls.

We see perfectly normal girls who one day have good friends and it’s all good, and the next week they’ve been dumped for someone else … and they’re destroyed.

Our mission as parents is to help our daughters learn to tolerate and navigate complicated relationships. It’s to help them find their voice, to feel more confident that they can build relationships and to help them communicate with each other more openly about their friendship issues so they can start to negotiate getting what they want — instead of going passive when things don’t go right. These relationship skills will take them far in both professional and personal life.

How do you do that? First, sit on your hands and quit giving advice. You can’t fix it for her — and when you try to fix it (or tell her how to fix it), you shut down communication. You can help to grow your daughter’s voice by using open-ended nonjudgmental statements that reflect back her reality to her and thus assist her to gain perspective on her situation.

You say: “That sounds really complicated and hard.” She thinks: “My mom understands me.” You say: “It sounds really painful.” She thinks: “My mom gets it. And ya, I’m really hurting.” You say: “Relationships can be such a struggle.” She thinks: “This one really is.” And so on, till she runs out of steam.

At a certain point, she’ll have done enough venting that she’ll calm down and maybe her brain might kick in and she might start being able to problem solve a bit. And you helped her get there, by being an empathic, non-advising, non-judgmental listener. That’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Parenting columnist Joanne Kates is the director of Camp Arowhon in Algonquin Park where she teaches 150 staff to parent effectively and acts as “Mom” to 300 kids at a time, every summer

Where the kids are: on the lookout for new playmates

3:08 pm

WHEN MY SON was five, he preferred play to work. Educators suggest early childhood development is all about learning through play. They believe a preschooler’s future success is largely dependent on being well socialized. When we were kids, finding friends was easy. The neighborhood streets were filled with kids just hanging out.

Socialization happened naturally. These days our kids live in safe bubbles; they can’t even stand on the front porch without parental patrolling. So this yummy mummy had to go on a playmate prowl for Josh.

The first place I expected to find a friend for my son was at his preschool. However the principal refused to allow a class list to be created, citing privacy concerns for some parents. I was extremely disappointed. With many moms and dads working and drop-off and pickup schedules erratic, catching the parents of my child’s school friends was next to impossible.

Josh had a special girlfriend at this school. With his teacher’s help, I managed to connect with this little girl’s mom and invited her daughter to come play. When she arrived, she was carrying a dozen roses. It was clear her mother was as overjoyed as I was to finally connect with another family outside of school.

My son also attended a French immersion public school. I was thrilled to receive a request for contact information for a class list. I’m sure I was the first mom to sign up. Within a month, a mom of one of the students phoned me to set up a time for our boys to cavort.

The first date her son came to our place. Unfortunately, it ended earlier than expected with our guest in tears, sobbing that he missed his mother. So, we tried again a few weeks later. This time the boys played at his house. When I arrived to pick up Josh, I had to pry him from the arms of his friend who wanted to continue wrestling all night. Social success!

Once I dropped Josh off with his nanny at an indoor play area. When I picked them up, Josh ran to me yelling he had made a new friend. I felt a burst of joy, grabbed a business card and made a 40-yard dash to find the mom of my son’s new pal. I think she was a bit surprised when I ran to her, out of breath, pushing my business card into her hand, saying, “I would LOVE it if we can get our boys together sometime.” Sadly, they were visiting from Barrie but would call if they came into town again.

My son’s social life began to perk up after several pieces fell into place. Two other children his age were attending the same two schools as he was, so I formed a car pool with their moms. This new alliance enabled our kids to bond daily in our minivans and formed a triumvirate of yummy mummies. Within a month, the play dates began. It’s no coincidence that I’m noticing a change in my son. His confidence is growing. He’s showing signs of a sense of humour. He’s even nicer to his little sister! And, most importantly, he’s learning how to be a friend.

Teaching your child to play properly can be hard work, but it’s also very rewarding. One way of connecting your child with like-minded kids is through after-school programs. High-energy boys and girls will love Just Bounce (www.justbounce.ca), the largest trampoline school in Ontario. My son had a blast in semi-private lessons with his car pool buddies.

Coach Jeff, a high level trampoline competitor, was amazing with the kids. With eight trampolines to choose from, they bounced for close to an hour. More impressive was the way Coach Jeff kept the kids howling with laughter as he entertained them with gravity-defying jumps, flips and twists.

And remember, yummy mummies need to play, too! If you’re struggling with a lack of adult stimulation, try inviting other parents to your play dates. While kids romp, moms can talk. It’s like meeting new school friends, once again.

Post City Magazines’ parenting columnist, Erica Ehm is the voice of yummy mummies with her playful website yummymummyclub.ca. After all, mommies need to play, too.

Look out France & Italy, here comes affordable Croatia

3:08 pm

KUTJEVO, A TOWN in Slavonia, is the home of Croatia’s largest wine producer, Kutjevo d.d. Their magnificent vaulted wine cellar was built by the Cistercians in 1232. At the centre of this cellar is a circular stone table said to be the site of dalliances between the Hapsburg Empress Maria Theresa and her Slavonian lover, Baron Franjo Trenk. It is also, coincidentally, a fine perch from which to sample the venerable vintages.

Here I tasted Kutjevo d.d. Rajnski Rizling kasna berba 1992. The wine was magnificent, but here’s the problem: how do you order that in a Toronto restaurant? If you ask for a bottle of Crljenak Katelanski did you know that you’ll be getting Zinfandel? Or what about Îlahtina, a crisp white wine grown only on the vowel-less island of Krk?

Believe me, it’s worth the effort to overcome the language barrier because Croatian wine, I predict, will be the next big thing. Rajnski Rizling is, of course, the Rhine Riesling we know.

Graevina, the most widely planted grape in Croatia, is actually Welschriesling or Riesling Italico, which can make wines ranging from stonily dry to semi-sweet to icewine. As a dry wine it can resemble Pinot Gris. The Krauthaker Graevina Mitrovac 2008 I tasted at a dinner in Zagreb went beautifully with a fillet of Adriatic tuna.

BOOZE FOR THE BARBECUE

CASA THAULERO MERLOT CABERNET SAUVIGNON 2008 (ITALY) • $6.95
COLIO GIRLS NIGHT OUT CABERNET SHIRAZ 2007 (ONTARIO) • $12.95
PILLITTERI CABERNET MERLOT 2007 (NIAGARA PENINSULA) • $12.95
CREEKSIDE CABERNET 2007 (NIAGARA PENINSULA) • $13.95
COUSIÑO-MACUL ANTIGUAS CABERNET SAUVIGNON 2007 (CHILE) • $15.45

Plavac Mali (pronounced plahvatz mahli) is a red variety grown in the warmer regions along the Dalmatian coast. The flavour profile is blackberries, black cherries, pepper and spice with bracing tannins. The grape is a cross between Zinfandel (Crljenak Katelanski) and Dobriãiç, an ancient red variety from an island off the Dalmatian coast. These wines, because of their firm tannins, age very well.

Two of them were standouts at a tasting I had at the Westin Zagreb in July: Korta Katarina Plavac Mali 2006 and Dignac Matsuko Reserva 2004.

Croatian winemakers have access, too, to the familiar varieties we know, but it is the indigenous varieties that are intriguing. At Coronica winery, in the village of Koroniki, Moreno Coronica offered me a taste of his carefully crafted Teran 2007, not yet in bottle — a wine that we know as the Italian Refosco. Moreno described it as “an Oxfordeducated peasant.”

In the extreme east of the country, at the border with Serbia overlooking the Danube, is the hill town of Ilok. This is Gewürztraminer country, known here as Traminac. At Iloãki Podrumi, they produce a range of Gewürz right up to icewine level.

Iloãki Podrumi Traminac Icewine 2007, the first icewine made by the winery, is copper-gold in colour with a spicy, rose petal and honeyed nose; spicy and elegant; not too sweet with wonderful balance (92). This was followed by their amazing Iloãki Podrumi Traminac TBA 2006: bronze colour; burnt orange and tea nose, rather like a Tokaji; very elegant, well balanced with a spicy rose petal flavour and a marmalade finish; sweet but not cloying (93).

To add to the pleasure I tasted these wines in the company of Ivana Vasilj, the newly crowned Miss Croatia. How sweet is that?

Post City Magazines’ wine columnist, Tony Aspler, has written 14 books on wine and food. Tony also created the Ontario Wine Awards. He can be heard on 680News.

Lisa Marcos

3:08 pm

NORTH TORONTO’S LISA MARCOS speaks in weighty sentences, and not just for a former model, from whom one might expect simpler-than-Styrofoam sound bites. The female lead of the CTV summer series The Listener meets me for coffee near her Yonge and Eglinton home, and as she recounts her life story — by turns shocking, sad and triumphant — her solemnity and maturity say it all: the young woman sitting opposite has been through enough to fill her 27 years many times over.

At the tender age of 13, when most girls begin experimenting with makeup, separating boys from cooties and taking an interest in their appearance, Marcos was in Milan, Japan, Spain, Germany and beyond, posing for Vogue and starring in commercials as an international model — and all of it without a parent in sight. Every young girl’s dream come true, right?

Not exactly, says Marcos. “I literally had to pay my rent, wash my clothes, do my homework … and my focus was to make money so I could bring it home. And that’s why I never got involved with the parties and the men and the drugs and all that, which is so easy to get sucked into, and knowing that I didn’t have a parent and no one watching me, I could have if I’d wanted to.”

When her parents split, Marcos, then 11, enrolled in a fashion course at her aunt’s urging, to learn about “makeup, how to stand up straight, walk straight and all that stuff,” she says. Soon after, she entered a modelling competition, but the odds of winning were daunting: from a field of 3,500, only a few contestants would be offered modelling contracts. To her surprise, she placed second, and agents quickly swooped in with contracts. The opportunity presented a way to help relieve her family’s financial burden (“we were very poor,” she says), plus it offered a change of scenery from the divorce troubles at home. While teachers, friends and certain relatives outright disowned her for choosing a career some equated with prostitution, Marcos’s strong relationship with her mother (“she’s my girl,” Marcos says, “the strongest person I know”) and her deep faith (“I believe God opens up doors, and sometimes you don’t understand why”) helped to keep her focused and away from the hazards of such an environment.

"I never got involved with the parties and the men and the drugs and all that, and knowing that I didn’t have a parent watching me, I could have if I’d wanted to."

Marcos has no regrets about the decision she made. While it cost her a normal childhood — her last full year in the classroom was Grade 6 — she says the early tumult makes her current success that much sweeter.

“I really feel like, if I hadn’t gone through all of that, I wouldn’t be in a place today where I can enjoy the moment,” she says. “I just remember the days when I was so broke I couldn’t afford a cup of coffee.”

The Toronto-based Listener centres on Toby Logan (Craig Olejnik), a paramedic with a vigilante streak who uses his handy mind-reading ability to solve crimes. Marcos plays Detective Charlie Marks, who finds herself perpetually flummoxed by and privately thankful for Logan’s timely insights.

The mind-reading element of the show unfortunately echoes more established series The Mentalist and Heroes, but Marcos, Olejnik and Toronto’s Ennis Esmer are bright spots as rising Canadian talents. While the show was recently dropped from NBC’s summer lineup, about half of the season did air, giving Marcos and her co-stars exposure in the crucial markets south of the border.

Toronto, which plays itself in the series, also received its close-up, with the CN Tower skyline, montages of passing TTC streetcars and buzzing downtown intersections linking scenes. In one episode, Det. Marks responds to a crime scene in Chinatown, where the “905 crew” is suspected of foul play. In another, Esmer’s and Olejnik’s characters debate whether they should go out to the Rivoli (“bands, ten-dollar cover, but it could suck,” says Esmer) but then opt for the Madison House.

Marcos relishes the chance to work in and show off her hometown. “There was a picture of our city in the newspaper the other day and I kept it. We really do live in a beautiful city,” she says. “For years, we’ve been playing it as something else. I think we have a great opportunity to let people around the world know what we do here.”

Marcos’s Yonge and Eglinton condo puts her within walking distance of her favourite breakfast spot (the name of which she’s reluctant to divulge for fear it’ll become too known), the Mount Pleasant Cinema, great antiques shopping and world-class restaurants. She loves the Taste of Eglinton festival and the nearby parks, and she goes out of her way to drive along the Rosedale extension. “It’s home,” she says of Toronto, “a place where, no matter how bad they treat you anywhere, when you’re home, it’s almost like a safety blanket.”

But for 10 lonely years, home for Marcos was whatever hotel the modelling agency had put them up in that week. When Marcos touches on such memories, her delivery slows and her lips purse ever so slightly, signs that the trauma of having had to grow up far too fast still lingers. “There are stories I don’t share with everyone,” she says at one point.

Still, she reveals partial anecdotes of some of the perils she faced as a youngster abroad — memories of roommates who got hooked on hard drugs, others who sold themselves to further their careers and of creepy male predators lurking at every turn. “I’m the girl who got locked in a train car by a strange man in Germany,” she says. In another instance, a photographer asked her whether she would call the cops if he touched her (“Yes,” was her reply). And when she was 15, an agent told her she should consider cocaine to keep her weight low.

“These people … are like hyenas. They come in packs and they just want to tear every piece of skin off of you,” she says. “When you’re that young, even if you’re 18, 19, that stuff eventually wears you out, and if you’re not strong enough, it will have you thinking differently. That stays with you. That scars you. So you really have to get in the frame of mind where what they say really doesn’t change who you are.”

If anything is certain, it’s that Marcos, like her strong-willed character, has a clear sense of self.

Coffees nearly empty, I ask if there’s anything else she’d like to add. Often it’s a request for a plug (“Can you say something about my new fragrance/clothing line/movie?”), but Marcos offers a suitably weighty closing remark:

“For every person who’s had it rough or every child who’s dreaming, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody,” she says. “Just keep your heart in the right place and make sure it’s open with love.”

1...985986987...994 Page 986 of 994

A Glowing report

Sweet Italian music

The chef, the legend, the food

Neighbourhood roundup

“CHEQUE PLEASE”HAZEL’S DINER3401 Yonge St.416-850-0121Lunch for two excluding tax,tip and alcohol:$25

“CHEQUE PLEASE”AGOSTINO’S2497 Yonge St.647-351-0507Dinner for two excluding tax,tip and alcohol:$75

Rose’s Tip: How to select the best and keep them fresh

BOOZE FOR THE BARBECUE

“CHEQUE PLEASE”
HAZEL’S DINER
3401 Yonge St.
416-850-0121
Lunch for two excluding tax,
tip and alcohol:
$25

“CHEQUE PLEASE”
AGOSTINO’S
2497 Yonge St.
647-351-0507
Dinner for two excluding tax,
tip and alcohol:
$75